ARFID and Caregiving

Connie Carr, COTA

Caregivers are the heroes with ARFID. They never stop thinking about or worrying about feeding their children. They celebrate when they eat. Cry when they don’t. Never stop worrying that this didn’t have to be so hard. They worry about what if a safe food disappears or if a favorite brand changes. They worry about the future of their kiddos. Of their health, independence and quality of life. 

Some people may judge what and how they feed their kiddos but what many people don’t understand is that sometimes they’re choosing between a safe food and NO food.

Sometimes you have to break the rules for a child with  ARFID. You may need to get fast food often because a meal they’ll actually eat is better than a home cooked meal they can’t.

• You may also need to make multiple meals because one meal for everyone isn’t always realistic when feeding challenges are involved.

• You may also need to let them eat in their room because eating something in a place that feels safe is better than not eating at all.

• You may also need to allow screens during meals because feeling safe and staying regulated can make the difference between eating and not eating.

• You may also need to buy the same foods over and over because that can be the difference between eating and not eating at all.

• Bringing your food wherever you go may seem annoying but it makes the difference between participation and not being able to participate.

• Allowing kiddos to leave the table early creates positive relationships with food rather enforcing negative.

You have to let a lot rules go since a child with ARFID is no longer a typical picky eater. 

Be nice to these caregivers and be kind to yourselves. Behind every safe food is a caregiver carrying a weight most people will never fully understand.