Ability Innovations- Speech

If you’re a parent of a young child, chances are you ask a lot of questions.

“What color is that?”
“What does the cow say?”
“Can you tell me what this is?”

Asking questions feels helpful, and sometimes it is. But when it comes to supporting early language development, too many questions can actually slow things down.

That’s where the “Comment, Wait, and Wonder” technique comes in. This simple, research-supported strategy helps children feel less pressure, more confident, and more motivated to communicate using language that feels natural and meaningful to them.

Best of all? You can use it anywhere: during play, meals, bath time, or while reading a book together.

Why “Stop Asking Questions”?

Young children are still figuring out how communication works. When adults ask lots of questions, children may:

Feel like they’re being tested
Shut down or rely on one-word answers
Wait for prompts instead of initiating communication
Respond less if they don’t know the “right” answer

Questions put adults in control of the interaction. Language grows best when children feel like active participants, not students being quizzed.

What Is “Comment, Wait, and Wonder”?

What Is “Comment, Wait, and Wonder”?

Instead of asking questions, this technique encourages you to:

Comment on what your child is doing or seeing
Wait longer than feels comfortable
Wonder out loud about what might happen next

It’s simple, gentle, and incredibly powerful.

Let’s break it down.

Step 1: Comment (Say What You See)

A comment is just a statement, with no answer required.

You’re narrating the moment, not directing it.

Examples:

“You’re stacking the blocks really high.”
“That car is going so fast.”
“You picked the blue cup.”
“The dog is barking loudly.”

Comments:

Model language naturally
Match your child’s focus
Remove pressure to respond

Think of yourself as a sports commentator instead of a quizmaster.

💡 Tip: Use short, simple sentences—especially for toddlers.

Step 2: Wait (Give Them Time)

After you comment, pause.

And then pause a little longer.

Children often need extra processing time to:

Think about what was said
Decide if they want to respond
Plan what to say (or do) next

What waiting looks like:

Count silently to 5 (or even 10)
Make eye contact
Stay present, but don’t fill the silence

This is often the hardest part for adults—but it’s where the magic happens.

Step 3: Wonder (Invite, Don’t Demand)

If your child doesn’t respond right away, try wondering out loud instead of asking a direct question.

Wondering sounds curious, not demanding.

Examples:

“I wonder where that car is going.”
“I wonder what will happen if we add another block.”
“I’m wondering which book you’ll pick next.”
“I wonder if the teddy bear is sleepy.”

Wondering:

Encourages imagination
Invites participation without pressure
Shows that communication can be playful

Your child may respond with:

A word
A sound
A gesture
An action

All of these count as communication.

What If My Child Doesn’t Say Anything?

That’s okay.

Language development isn’t about forcing words. It’s about building readiness.

Even when your child doesn’t respond verbally, they are:

Listening
Learning vocabulary
Noticing turn-taking
Understanding how conversation works

Over time, these moments add up and children begin to initiate more on their own.

Everyday Ways to Use “Comment, Wait, and Wonder”

Instead of:
“What are you building?”

Try:
“You’re building a big tower… (wait)… I wonder if it will fall or stay up.”

During Meals

Instead of:
“What do you want to eat?”

Try:
“You’re looking at the strawberries… (wait)… I wonder if you’re hungry for something sweet.”

During Book Reading

Instead of:
“What’s that?”

Try:
“That’s a big red truck… (wait)… I wonder where it’s going.”

During Routines (Bath, Bedtime, Dressing)

Instead of:
“Can you tell me what we do next?”

Try:
“It’s time for pajamas… (wait)… I wonder which ones you’ll choose.”

Why This Works

The “Comment, Wait, and Wonder” technique:

Reduces pressure to perform
Builds confidence and independence
Encourages longer, more spontaneous communication
Supports children at all language levels

It’s especially helpful for:

Late talkers
Toddlers learning first words
Children with speech or language delays
Kids who shut down when asked questions

A Gentle Shift, Big Impact

This technique doesn’t mean you can never ask questions. It simply encourages you to balance questions with comments, and to trust that your child has something to say when given the space to say it.

So next time you’re tempted to ask,
“What is that?”
or
“What color is this?”

Try stopping, commenting, waiting… and wondering instead.

You may be surprised by how much more your child has to say when you let them take the lead.

Stop Asking Questions: How to Use the “Comment, Wait, and Wonder” Technique to Spark Language